"I thought the phrases quite tasteful, myself," Draco informed a red-faced Harry.

"This is not how I wanted to do this, Draco! I don't know why I'm with you, I swear to Merlin, I don't know," Harry muttered, shaking his head, his face in his hands.

"There's never a dull moment with me, of course," Draco said proudly. "Also, I'm perfection personified."

--------------
THE DAY PREVIOUS...

"I enjoy giving Draco Malfoy immense oral pleasure!"

Harry clamped a hand over his mouth and froze, sitting in the seventh year boys' dormitory with his fellow roommates. Ron and Seamus stopped playing chess abruptly and stared at Harry, open mouthed and wide eyed. Neville and Seamus both looked up from their textbooks and stared as well.

There was complete silence for a few seconds before Ron cleared his throat and said cautiously, "What was that, Harry?"

"I--Ron--I--Er," Harry stood up shakily, looking quite horrified with himself.

"All right, mate?" Seamus inquired, still staring at the other boy in awe.

Suddenly, Harry shouted, "Draco Malfoy is perfection personified! I've been shagging him madly for the past few months!"

He staggered back, as if physically hurt by his outburst. He was so red it almost hurt to look at him. The four boys remained carefully still, not knowing how to approach the strange turn of events.

It seemed the outbursts were not to stop there, for Harry continued, "I don't see why you lot of dunderheads haven't wondered what I've been doing all this time! If you had cared to look at all, you would have found Draco Malfoy frequently pleasuring me as well!"

Before the boys could say anything to this, Harry fled the dormitory, a hand clamped over his mouth.

--------------
THE DAY PREVIOUS...

"I wish there was just some way I could tell my friends about us..." Harry said idly.

"Oh, don't worry about that, Harry," Draco waved his hand nonchalantly. "You see, I've got it all worked out already. Just leave it to me."

"Er. You do?"

"Oh yes, it's all taken care of. Your friends will know all about us in good time."

"Uh.. Why do I have a bad feeling about this?"